Sunday, November 11, 2012

Girlfriend moving for job, doesnt want me to come?


I apologize if this is a little long but please read through because this advice means alot to me.

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a little over 2 years now. When we met she was graduating with her master's degree in urban planning. I was just starting school then. I am 25 now and I had put off college before because i didnt grad. high school and by time i got my life together and go my GED and applied to college i was 18. I met a girl then that was a year into college for her nursing degree. We both lived with our parents and wanted to get a place together but couldnt afford it both as full-time students. So we decided that since she was further in school and i hadnt started yet that i would work 2 jobs and pay the bills and a third of her tuition while she attended college and worked part-time. Once she graduated she would pay for my school and i would not work at all to grad faster.After three and a half years, her graduation was on a friday and she broke up with me on Thursday.

Moved back into my parents and eventually got myself back on my feet in my own place, met the girl i am currently dating and started school. Our relationship over the past 2 years has been very up and down. The first 10 months or so were amazing and we never fought and started to care alot for eachother. We started getting into fights alot later and would break up and get back together for a couple months then do it again and again. Our last break up was about 2 months ago.

She graduated with a 6yr degree and has been looking for a job in her field for 2 years and has found nothing.Her job currently is an administrative assitant to the mayor of a small city, not horrible but its not a job but it is not a job that requires a masters degree. Repeated rejection letters made her pretty depressed and caused issues in our relationship. She got a call from a job in South Carolina she interviewed with and they want to offer her a position. We discussed everything when she interviewed and decided that even though she doesnt want to live together before we are married that this would be an exception and we could take our relationship to the next level.

Tonight she tells me that she wants me to come but thinks i should not move down until 6 months after she does. She said she wants to get settled in and is worried i am giving up to much for her. I am not able to be ok with that. Long distance relationships just do not work, even if the relationship is strong they have trouble and ours is not the strongest. I do not think we are in a place to put that much pressure on the relationship. I love this girl and want to marry her, i told her that i would be fine transfering jobs and states a fresh start would be good for us. I thought about this decision alot because i made this mistake before.

I told her that i was not ok with her moving down there and me waiting here for 6 months in Ohio, and to not call me until she has decided on wether or not she wants me to move with her within a month of her move.

Any advice on why she feels this way or what i should do would be greatly appreciated, thank you for your time.

Source: http://www.loveforum.net/threads/73065-Girlfriend-moving-for-job-doesnt-want-me-to-come

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